What type of a Walker are you?

Many moons ago, I realized, that it was time to focus on my health and fitness. Having never been great at sports, I decided to walk regularly as step 1 of my fitness journey. It’s a separate matter that I never graduated to step 2… but THE POINT is that I was deep into step 1 for a long, long time.

If you are an avid walker, you would probably have a consistent route you go along, and with that route comes a pretty consistent category of people you meet along the way.

So, introducing:

#1- The athlete

The way to identify this species is by their arm band and earphones which they wear as their badge of honor. You can spot them from a mile away as they cross you in a flash, huffing puffing and sweating gallons. This category is a reminder to you that the walk is supposed to be for fitness purposes and not just for calling your friend or dancing awkwardly to music. Symptoms of seeing this person might include straightening up and quickening your pace... until a slow romantic song comes on your playlist, and you eventually sit down on a park bench making a mental note of the Athlete's route, so you don't bump into them again.

#2- The chatty aunties

There will be one group of benches in the middle of the park which would be hoarded by a group of ladies who have found the best time between afternoon lunch and evening preparation of dinner for this get together, ahem... walk. As you walk on the path encircling the park, you will hear everything from weight gain to dinner plans to what their kids are up to nowadays, and part of you almost wants to join in and add to their discussion?

PS. Note: My use of the word aunty is coming from a place where I imagine myself as 20 and not a literal aunty myself.

#3- The quiet pack

If the chatty aunties make you almost wish you could take a seat in their pack, there is one of group you want to steer clear of, and that is the group of uncles sitting on some chairs atrociously in the middle of the walking path without any apologies. Unlike the noisy aunty group, they will just be sitting quietly, not talking to each other, just there. They will silently shoot you a disapproving look from top to bottom any time you pass them by, which you will, because as I said, they are RIGHT in the most inconvenient spaces, in front of the elevators to your block or near a turn where it is impossible to avoid them.

#4- The tired parent

If you walk during evenings, and especially if you are like me, you would probably be hanging around the playground area of a park, waiting for the children to run off for their dinners and then maybe you could grab a swing without judgement. But if there are children around, so will their guardians. The guardians can come in different forms - some will be high energy and chasing their kids, some will arrive late so their kid can tire themselves out while they get a tiny moment to themselves or can make calls, and then there would be some who will make small talk with other guardians and feel less alone in their misery/joy/overwhelm, depending on how you view parenthood.

#5- The dog walkers 

Aah, my favourite breed, I mean, group. Okay maybe not favourite, but definitely the funniest. Especially the ones who are being walked by their dogs instead of the other way around, all the while trying to reign in the dog, profusely apologizing for their dog barking and trying to bite anything or anyone in site. The unfunny category is the dog walker who is absolutely oblivious to the danger their dog might be posing to anyone else because they just cannot see how it can do any wrong, not unlike the guardian who will let their child bully anyone on the ground because, well, they are just a child and a free spirit you know, and don't need to be disciplined everrrr.

#6- The supposed regular

This person is on a walk on the regular but shows no sign of progress whatsoever. She will come out on a walk in their chappal, with earphones and looking into her phones, hoping every misaligned step will add up to 10k.

Pro - She shows up every day, well, almost.

Con - It is not going to help her with any fitness goal

Note - She is me

#7- The young, too young kids

Every other day, you will be haunted by your past. And it comes in the form of a group of students who will pass by you, loudly laughing among themselves, making you feel much realise 'Oh My God, these kids are like, 15 years younger to me'. That realization will not be helped by how their conversations about teachers and subjects and gossip feel like they belong to another lifetime, or how they will quietly judge you for your existence as you walk past them. Well, that is a lie, it is probably because you were wearing a night suit on your so-called walk.

#8- The inanimate object

If you are as unlucky as I am, every parking spot is an opportunity to almost get hit because that is miraculously the exact spot where a car has to park right when you are crossing it. So, you keep walking while a car mysteriously turns towards you and keeps turning while you pretend you are not being murdered, until you make eye contact with a driver who is violently gesturing at you to get out of his way. Oddly enough, the driver of this car shaped object never honks at you, just waits until you figure out what the hell is going on.

It could also mean a ball hurling toward you at full speed because the group of kids playing cricket/basketball just couldn't control it at just the worst moment. It comes with a bonus feature of having to throw the ball back at them, leading to a flash of memories of school when you put all your force into throwing a ball, only to have it land 3 feet in front of you, and mind you, you had more practice back then. So, on most days you ignore them saying "Didddiiiii ball dedo" and walk off, and then one day you gather your courage, throw back the ball only to hit another home and run off so you won't get blamed.

#8- The competitor:

This is the fellow regular you spot on your walk; it is someone you have seen but never talked to. You don't acknowledge each other's presence nor the fact that you are secretly in competition of who is the fastest. Just like in school when you and your partner try to write the fastest as the teacher dictates answers but don't say it oud loud for fear of them winning, you walk past your competitor and smile at your supposed victory in a race they didn't know they were a part of. But let's be honest, they totally do.